My boyfriend got back to work and so did I. It was a happy and fulfilling vacation for both of us. We spent two weeks and a long weekend together. We proved to each other that this was something serious. As expected, he took this more seriously than I did. Now, he wants to start a family....I...on the other hand...is still hesitant. Not because I don't want to or I don't love him enough. On the contrary, I do love him. He wants a baby...soon...even before marriage. But what he does not understand or maybe know, is that, I also love my status quo...I just cannot imagine at this point in time that there will be MAJOR changes in my life. The fact is, I am for changes ...but bring them to me gradually...integrate it slowly....I am not up for a panic attack! Ha! I have not said this to my boyfriend...as he is the opposite....decide now and do "damage-control." I envy his spunk...the good and bad side of it.
The discussion will go to the issue of my reputation...my values and what my family will say. I know I can decide what kind of life to have....and I can take on whatever life gives me. But don't I deserve a less anxious life...without the hassles and the baggages? I have faith in my boyfriend that he will make things right eventually. What I ask is not to change my comfort zone yet. Not yet!
Anyway, we have talked and agreed and decided and compromised...that this is for real and long-term. Personally, I have decided to be with him. We have said the words but we promised to put things in action. And so...for now...we wait. Things are hopeful and if things become clearer...happily ever after will follow.
